Empaths are emotional sponges who absorb both the stress and the joy from the world around them.
To really thrive as an empath (not just survive), I think it’s critical to learn how to not take on the energy, stress and moods of other people.
To an empath, the world can often seem coarse, heartless and disdainful of sensitivity. I know I’ve been told time and again that I need to be less sensitive if I want to succeed in life.
But I say that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. Being sensitive to the world around you isn’t a weakness that needs to be stamped out.
I think empathy is the very thing about you that is most right in the world. Rather than “growing thicker skin”, I believe it’s more important for you to learn skills to help you cope with a highly sensitive nervous system.
When you learn to understand your specific needs as an empath, you’ll be able to truly connect with yourself (and others), be your authentic self and shine as an empath.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene; everyone’s yelling, everything is sticky, the same music plays over and over again and once in a while somebody pukes. There’s also a lot more yelling at people from the bathroom than I ever imagined.
Parenting was a lot easier when I was raising my non-existent kids hypothetically. Back then I didn’t know that I could ruin someone’s day by asking them to put pants on.
The standard toddler to-do list goes something like this:
1) Ask for waffle
2) Refuse offered waffle
3) Ask why your waffle was taken away
4) Cry because you don’t have your waffle
…and that’s on a good day.
I feel like every time I say “no” my kid hears “ask again, she didn’t understand the question”.
They say women average about 20,000 words a day. My toddler manages that before breakfast. I routinely find myself staring blankly at my husband because I can’t remember what we were talking about after being interrupted 178 times.
Somebody asked me what the hardest thing about parenting is, I said “it’s the kids”. Ever had a job where you had no experience, no training, weren’t allowed to quit and people’s lives depended on you?
I am a strong woman raising a strong child which is why I need a strong drink. One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed, but that will not be today. Not in this grocery store.
Transactional relationships are very good and very useful: they make the world go around. You don’t need to become besties with every supermarket checkout person you meet, you just need them to do their job.
And you won’t build transformational relationships with every person you come across, but if you can do it with the right people you will find that previously unimaginable horizons will open up to you.
You will discover what loyalty and commitment really feel like and how creating those elusive win-win situations is a truly worthy goal. You will marvel at the depth of compassion in someone who genuinely wants the best for you, rather than what looks like a good choice at the moment.
The people with whom you have transformational relationships are the pillars in your life, enabling you to do things you could never achieve alone – both at work and in life.
Learn the difference between transactional and transformational, so that you can cultivate a little bit of transformational into most relationships and recognise a good thing when it comes your way.
Bullying is a horrible thing. It sticks to you and stays with you. It will make you susceptible to being bullied again and it will even define your worth if you let it.
Some bullies you grow up with, others you meet in the school yard. Yet more of them pepper your work life and it isn’t a question of if you’ll run into them, but when.
If you’re looking for a quick fix to bullying, this isn’t it. A quick search on your internet machine will turn up plenty of those articles.
This is my deep-dive into understanding and resolving the consequences of bullying; to understand what bullying looks like, how it can be difficult to see, the mechanisms that enable it and what I, as the victim, can do about it in order to affect tangible change.
Children need love – especially when they seem to deserve it the least. And that’s when it can be so incredibly hard to find a compassionate response.
Dealing with a developing brain and a human being learning how to hooman gets overwhelming at times. And arguing with a miniature version of myself, with the same shit-ass attitude, can get really frustrating.
When I say “Get dressed”, I don’t mean stand around watching TV with one sock on. Some days my mom voice is so loud even the neighbours brush their teeth and get dressed.
I can’t promise to fix all my daughter’s problems, but I can make sure she never faces them alone. Ultimately, I’m not dealing with just a tantrum, I’m training her in how to survive life and I’d like for my legacy to be the best advice she ever got.
This is but one mother’s quest to navigate the temper tantrums of a developing toddler brain, because life can get hard and things can go wrong, but no matter what, you’ve got to stay strong.
Dr. Seuss said, “Be yourself because the people who mind don’t matter. And the people that matter don’t mind”.
With anxiety and depression rates in young people growing at the same rate as smartphone adoption, it’s more important than ever to raise strong, self-aware children who can not only survive meeting a bully, but thrive in a world full of them.
By extension, raising bully-proof kids, will also raise kids who don’t bully. Compassion and empathy is the only way we have back to each other, back to a place where we can connect with each other and be part of something greater than ourselves.
Compassion is not a virtue, it’s a commitment. It’s not something we have or don’t have – it’s something we choose to practice every day, every challenge.
The earlier we begin to foster compassion in our children, the easier it will be for them to choose compassion over antagonism.
For the longest time I thought I was a dog person, just because I grew up around dog people.
But I always felt emotionally drained by dogs, constantly paying attention to me, always wanting me to go do something and never letting me make a trip to the fridge by myself.
Then, I discovered cats with their aloof ways and nonchalant manner, and I just bailed on dogs, like a rat getting off the Titanic.
Plus, when I complain about what a little sh*t my cat is being everyone agrees! Cat people totally know what I’m talking about and dog people think cats are little sh*ts anyway.
I totally get cats, they like to chill out and do their own thing and I can so relate to that.
All I need is a full tabletop of stuff to swipe to the floor and I’ll practically be a cat!