I keep asking myself if I’m ready for cats. Am I ready to make that bond again? To have that life with me and the responsibility for keeping it? Am I ready for two cats? Two lives under my wing?
And what does getting a cat mean for me? Is it a hope in a better tomorrow? Is it faith that more money will come (because there’s always more money) and that we’ll be alright? More than that even, that we’ll be prosperous and be able to pay for all the things that need paying for and buying all the things we want to get, build the life we want?
Or is that just my hope for what it means? And am I now overthinking this? Maybe I’m tired, and I need to sleep. To rest and let my brain take over. Stop thinking about things I cannot influence and just rest within the things I can.
But that contact with a cat today was so marvellous. The soft fur and eager look in his eyes to connect, the airbiscuits and the little tippy taps. How beautiful was that interaction? How fulfilling for my heart! If nothing else, this has reaffirmed that we really do need a cat, or two, in our life. And the rest will work itself out. I’ll make it work itself out, like I did with Oscar. I’d have done anything for him. Like I’ll do anything for whichever feline joins our family. I really loved what that lady said, “this is the kind of place for anyone who needs some love”. Because love is not halved when your family grows, it doubles for every one that joins.
Why is some part of me wishing that she’s going to say no to us and that we won’t get the cats. They were absolutely adorable cats, social, wonderful and friendly and why am I still hoping on some level that she’ll say no? Am I hoping that she’ll say no to us and we don’t get the cats because I am in this mindset where we don’t have enough money to take on two cats. Where we don’t have enough money to pay for servicing the car for road inspection and for washing and cleaning it and taking care of the car.
Where we don’t have enough money for buying a new car or getting my sweater fixed, having savings and generally in this place where I don’t have a successful business that’s bringing in money. Am I still in this mindset where I keep saying that “there is no money”, “we don’t have enough money”?
When, really what I should be saying, what I should be doing, is having an abundance mindset and saying “yes we can take these two cats and yes we have enough money to feed them and yes we have enough love to bring these two creatures into our lives and yes my husband is going to get the money he finally deserves in the position he finally deserves and yes I’m going to finally have that successful business that actually pays me a salary and that is an actually reliable, sustainable source of income for me and a source of income that makes me happy and fulfilled and allows me to make a difference in the world because that’s all I really want.
What is it going to take for me to be able to switch into an abundance mindset where I can say yes we have enough money to welcome an abundant life? We have enough love to welcome more characters into the family? Where we have enough time to do the things we really love to do and find meaningful? What is it going to take for me to be able to say for me to be able to switch and do that abundance mindset find that flow of abundance where I can say “yes I want to do this in my heart is open and my heart is full and I have more than enough to share”?
What is it going to take for me to switch over from a reductive mindset to an additive mindset? What is it going to take for me to make that shift where things start to exponentially become better and more abundant and easier and more fulfilling?
What is it going to take for me to make that change in my life where I can say “yes this is the place where these guys come when they need love” because even though you cannot live on love alone we also have an abundance of resources that we can share, that we do share? And that we take that abundance of resources and we do good in the world, we do good in our community, we do good things and help good people?