I am what a wealthy woman looks like because I’m not gonna change with more material abundance. It’s not worth it to bargain yourself away. I’ve settled the big doubts about myself as a person and can now honestly say I’m the most confident I’ve ever been, though that doesn’t feel like a whole lot on some days.
My struggle with myself now is about distancing myself from the past, the self-deprecating thoughts and counterproductive patterns. I have arrived at a place where my past wounds no longer hurt me in the present and blind me to the real source of the pain. I can separate where I am now to where I once was. And I’m grateful for this.
It’s such a relief to no longer be blinded and paralysed by my past wounds as I once was. It’s taken a lot of work, several years, and many painful moments and lessons, but I’ve come out the other side. Beaten and battered, but alive and breathing still.
The whole process of giving birth fundamentally changed me. It was such an invasive process and my barriers invaded by so many strangers during it that I let go. Let go of what I thought was an essential part of me that I couldn’t live without. I let those walls go, and though it felt like giving up in that moment, it was actually a very mature thing to do. I did shut down just a bit because I felt hopeless but that was within this other decision to put myself in the hands of others and trust that they’d take care of me.
And when our daughter was young, my husband was travelling for work and would be away for a week at a time. It took me a long time to recover from my c-section and subsequent uterine infection. That long recovery dented my self-confidence, and I lost faith in my own power and ability to do things.
One evening when I was alone with and upset and disappointed child who didn’t understand why daddy wasn’t there, crying and hissyfitting herself to sleep, I broke through to a new level of calm I didn’t know I had in me. It was like rising above the clouds of a raging storm to find clear skies and sunshine.
Tired and exhausted and healing the baby years were a lot to take. But I am grateful to my daughter who taught me a whole new level of tolerance for strong emotions and taught me to think of my feet, to come up with better solutions for dealing with big emotions that I’d never been taught how to handle as a child, or as a parent.
She showed me that I am resilient in the face of new challenges and that I can survive – even thrive – when thrown in at the deep end.
If you want to do the deep inner work too, increase your earning potential and break through your income plateau, sign up for The Money Mindset Workshop today.
It’s a 25-day program with real talk about money and daily exercises and journaling prompts that will help you completely transform how you think and feel about money.
This workshop is for you if you’re interested in doing the deep inner work that’s required for you to be able to fully step into your economic power and create a life for yourself that’s in alignment with your personal values.