How I aligned my energy with my money goals & used micro-habits to become a money magnet

Although I love to gossip about money and power, real talk about money will shut down a conversation about as fast as talking about how I’ve gotten so familiar with my hemorrhoids that I’ve named them. Talking about money just isn’t as socially acceptable as speculating on the latest goings-on in my neighbour Darcy’s bedroom.

Money is something we should be teaching in school because it’s such a crucial part of life. Instead, I’ve noticed that we’re actively discouraged from talking about it. Somehow, real talk about money makes me seem gross and greedy. But let’s put the BS aside.

For a really long time, my relationship with money revolved around the belief that there’s never enough. I grew up in a single-parent household and, though we never went without the important stuff, we always seemed to be a step below my two-parented friends in terms of financial freedom and social status.

After getting married and joining my husband’s family business, we struggled to make ends meet and had many days when we just didn’t have enough money for food. Later, when my husband and I started our own business, it didn’t work out, leaving us with over $60k in debt that we couldn’t pay. The whole thing ended in debt collection, and it took 10 years of crawling out of that hole.

The day I realised that I needed to work on my money mindset was when my there’s-never-enough attitude had spilled into every last nook and cranny of my life. We were finally debt-free and had moved from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom apartment with our 2-year-old. We finally had some space to breathe, both financially and physically, and I had even quit my job to work on building a business full-time.

So what did I have to be so sad about? Life was good! Why did I still feel like there was never any hope of me ever being anything but piss-poor? I was convinced that I’d never succeed with my business (or in life) and felt hopelessly useless as a person.

That was my never-again moment. Never again did I want to feel like I had nothing, like I had no options, like I was a hopeless failure who was doomed to fail no matter what. I realised that the problem wasn’t in my circumstances. It was inside my head.

And so began a long journey to unpack decades of an entrenched scarcity mindset and unravel my own worth as a person. The lessons I’ve learned about myself have been amazing and life-changing, so much so that I regularly revisit them. I’m constantly working on my money mindset and re-evaluating my beliefs around wealth all the time.

And I see a huge difference when I lapse and fall off the bandwagon, even for a little while. I start falling out of alignment with money and getting caught in quick fixes that are like sugar highs and band-aid solutions that don’t support my personal or business growth at all.

To me, a good money mindset is much more intricate (and much more important) than simply a collection of practical financial tools like tackling debt, budgeting, and getting organised with my money. Why? Because the tools for managing money don’t change. But the challenges and inner demons I have to face on this journey are always evolving and changing as I grow.

And it doesn’t matter where I am in the evolution of my financial attitude; healing my relationship with money is a necessary first step, whether I’m rich or poor.

To heal my relationship with money, I’ve had to realise that money isn’t the enemy.

How I see money is. Money is a tool that is neither good nor bad. It is what I make it. It’s not something to feel anxious about or envious of. Neither is it something to be afraid of or secretly despise. And I don’t need to cling to it out of fear that it’ll never return if I let it go.

To heal my relationship with money, I had to dig deep into my subconscious and figure out what my current relationship with money is.

I asked myself:

• How do I talk about money? What words do I often use?
• How do I feel and act when I have money?
• How do I feel and act when I don’t have money?
• What do I believe about money and how it works in the world?
• What did my parents tell me about money when I was growing up?
• How do I carry those lessons with me today?

I also considered how money shows up in my life now and what that says about my relationship with it. Once I figured out what kind of relationship I have with money today, I could understand exactly how I want wealth and abundance to show up in my life from now on.

How much money do I want?

Deciding how much money I want and becoming and maintaining my energetic alignment with that is now my primary task. I don’t need to have all the answers at this point. I don’t need to know where it’s going to come from because I’ll find that out as I continue to travel on my journey.

Once I’ve decided how much money I want to make every month (or reach a certain point in my life, career, or business), then the only thing left to do is to keep myself focused on that.

I think about the amount of money I’d like to make every month:

• How would I feel when I have that amount in my bank account every month?
• How would I be different than I am now?
• How would I behave differently?
• Would I change habits?
• Would I think about money, life, or wealth differently?
• How would I speak, dress, and live?

What I’m doing is determining what having that amount of money looks and feels like.

My thoughts ➡️ my habits ➡️ my actions ➡️ my reality.

Then, I start acting as if I already have it because I guarantee you, there are ways of thinking and behaving that I can adopt already. There are things I can do right now, even before I get the amount of money I want, that will support me in getting into and staying in an abundant mindset.

The change I want begins in my mind. Because, though I can’t control my external circumstances, I can control my mindset and my micro-habits. And it’s those micro-habits that will shape the bigger actions that go on to shape my reality.

Letting go of the “how” it’s going to happen.

If I got a dime every time I thought, “Oh, I want to make X amount of money… but how?!” I’d already be a millionaire. But the how does not matter.

I know, it’s hard to let go of control. But as long as I’m trying to control it, it’s not coming because I’m still pouring all my energy into focusing on what I don’t have. And what I focus on grows.

If I focus on what I don’t have, I’m going to have… yep, you guessed it, more of what I don’t have—nothing, or not enough.

When I’m co-creating with the universe, my higher self, my job is to put in the destination into my life’s GPS and then follow the directions I’m given.

Will there be times when I have no idea where I’m going or how I’m going to get there? Yes. But I just have to keep following my internal GPS and keep my eyes, heart, and soul open for those breadcrumbs and signs from the universe, trusting that I’m exactly where I need to be.

I need to enjoy the now because it’s all I’m guaranteed. The most important thing is to just get out of my own head, look around, and start making the most of what’s here now. I trust that I’ll progress along my journey and get exactly where I want to go.

If I do these three steps—honestly and thoroughly—I’ll arrive at my money destination sooner than I think. And if I feel like the journey is going slower, I’ll add more intensity. I’ll rinse and repeat, with stronger conviction and intensity.

And keep doing the inner work (again and again).

This isn’t one of those set-it-and-forget-it kind of things. As I grow, evolve, and change, my money mindset will level up. And, as in any good game, I’ll progress to a new level and face stronger challenges—eventually leading to the higher-level boss fight.

This is work that will literally never be finished. What I need to do is develop these steps into an automated rinse-and-repeat habit that will serve me like a loyal sidekick, helping me break down my money blocks at every new level.

And no, I shouldn’t stop once I hit my money goal. What’s the point of hitting a six-figure income, slacking off on my money habits, and then blowing it all because I couldn’t be bothered to maintain a good relationship with money?

If I start resting on my laurels, thinking that I’m already so abundant and that “there’s always more where that came from,” I might not even notice when, in my abundance haze, my expenses start outstripping my income.

It’s happened to me! It’s happened to people far richer than me! Just think of Johnny Depp and his “If I want to buy 15,000 cotton balls a day, it’s my thing.”

I have to keep doing the work, or I could fall prey to my own complacency. I absolutely can make six figures and still be cash poor, living hand-to-mouth and straining to make it to the next pay-check—unless I work on my money mindset and make sure that my micro-habits are always fully aligned with where I want to be and go.

I need to stay in alignment and not fall back on bad money habits. Not too hard, right?

When I committed to the inner work and put my energy and intention behind it, I started crafting a truly abundant life.