This work you’re doing isn’t about becoming braver and defeating your fear.
The absence of fear isn’t the goal here.
Because you’re never going to be in a place where you won’t feel scared. Or unsure. Or confused.
And that’s because you don’t need to.
Life is about getting blocked and scared and still moving forward. About learning that skill to simply pick up and go even with the fear still there.
So, today we’re gonna talk numbers.
Even though we’re so often afraid of the numbers.
I want you to put your hand on your heart and take three deep breaths to centre yourself. Don’t skip this because I want you to feel good and grounded for what we’re going to do next.
I’m going to ask you to do something simple. Though it might not be simple at all for you today.
Take a pen and paper and write down how much money you made in the last 12 months.
You don’t have to go do your accounting for this, if you’re not sure about the exact number, write down an estimate of what you’ve made in the last year.
If (like me) you grew up in a family or culture where it was considered rude to talk about salaries and incomes, this might feel a bit uncomfortable.
You might even feel anxious about telling other people what you make.
Maybe you feel like someone might steal it from you if you’re too visibly successful (the “don’t look it in the eye” problem we talked about on day two).
You may be surprised at how much money you made – in which case yay, you’re more abundant than you had realised!
Or you may already be tracking your money flow and know exactly how overwhelmingly short you are at the end of the month. In which chase, you’re in the right place to remedy that!
But if you’re experiencing any kind of discomfort around that number, don’t shy away from it.
Ask yourself what it is that’s making you feel uncomfortable about that number?
And what kind of uncomfortable is it?
And where did you learn that this particular number is the one to feel uncomfortable about?
Whether you’re celebrating that number or feel shame or guilt about it, you’re telling yourself a story.
And that story comes from your money past.
If you’re feeling frustrated by that number on the paper, it’s a really good sign that you’re ready to move to the next level.
So, start connecting the dots so you can break the old pattern and stop it from repeating.
Remember when we were exploring what you’ve learned from your family about money?
It wouldn’t be surprising if you’re actually stuck right now on a symbolic income level for your family’s money motto.
Because it might feel disrespectful to your family if you were to make crazy big money.
How would your sister feel? What would your friends think? Or uncle Bob, who’s always saying “You sure do love your fancy stuff!” – not directly saying he thinks you’re expensive while still inferring you think you’re better than everyone else.
The fear of rejection is real.
Let’s talk about this! Not long ago, being shunned by your community was almost certain death.
Because humans weren’t designed to thrive alone.
Today, it isn’t as big of a deal as it used to be to go against your family. But that doesn’t make it any less painful if you end up having to do that in life.
Let me tell you, as the black sheep in my family, just being the odd one out feels like shit.
The fear of rejection may be holding you back too. And the answer here isn’t to double down and work twice as hard, you’ll just kill yourself that way.
Especially if there is a belief in your family that to get money you have to work really hard, your family motto may be something along the lines of ‘resilience’ or ‘hard work’.
And you might be making things harder for yourself without realising it.
Just to prove that you’re worthy of earning your money.
Because maybe deep down you think that if money comes too easily, it’ll make you spoiled and soft instead of hard-working and resilient.
So, if things become too “easy” or abundant, you sabotage your success and procrastinate.
You avoid having money conversations, or you outright reject financial abundance by saying things like “money isn’t important in life” or “happiness matters more than money” ?
But money and happiness aren’t mutually exclusive.
Sure, money won’t buy you happiness, but it buys freedom from stress and it makes life easier.
And just like with any external change in your life, at the end of the day you still have to be able to live with who you are as a person.
You making a lot of money doesn’t excuse you from being a good person.
Neither does it excuse you from doing the inner work necessary.
Just because the media representation of rich people is so incredibly narrow, doesn’t mean you have to be like them.
You can be whatever kind of rich person you want to be.
Save the whales and the rain forests and the bees. Help your friends buy a new car or pay for the honeymoon they can’t afford. Retire your parents early, buy your sister a house, or send your kids to a fancy private school.
Even with lots of money, you’ll still be responsible for showing up in the world.
My grandfather used to say to his employees, “If you aren’t having fun, you’re fired!” – because there is no reason why you shouldn’t enjoy your journey towards abundance.
Release whatever idea is holding you back and allow yourself to have fun making your money.
Grab your journal and get to work on these writing prompts:
- How will people see me differently when I have a lot of money?
- How will I be different when I have a lot of money?
- Write a list of 10 ways in which you’re grateful for the money you already have in your life.