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Why it matters that you show your love – 10 ways to say “I love you”

Did you know that sharing your love will lower your stress hormones, cholesterol and blood pressure as well as boost your immune system?

To get all these benefits, though, you need to express your love, not just feel it. You can say “I love you”, write a note or send a text to say “I’m thinking about you”. Hugging, listening and offering to help with chores are all ways of showing your love too.

Just being in the presence of someone who greets you with a smile and is glad to see you, can lower your levels of adrenaline and cortisol, when you’re having one of those days when everything’s going wrong, and create a greater state of neurochemical balance – meaning you’ll feel better both physically and mentally.

Did you also know that when you feel secure in yourself and in your relationships, your stress levels go down?

Making it a habit to share your love and be compassionate towards others (as well as yourself) will even protect you against the effects of stress as people with more affection in their lives produce more oxytocin when they’re stressed than their counterparts.

Basically, the more affectionate you are, the less stressed you’ll even be able to get.

When you’re generous with your affection, your body will produce much less cortisol and your blood pressure won’t spike as high as if you’re more withheld. Funny how Mother Nature do dat!

Read this article to get some ideas on how you can spread the love! 🥰

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How to create more headspace in your everyday life with these 4 simple writing exercises

Forget trying to become a writer and just write because it’s one of the best ways to declutter your mind.

Writing on paper (rather than on a computer or tab) forces your brain to really slow down and think – that’s why I prefer printable templates that I can write on myself.

Of course, you can write in any way that is convenient for you – but you should be writing!

This is one of the easiest forms of self-expression that will allow you to gain perspective on your thoughts and feelings.

Especially, when you process things deeply and tend to mull over stuff for a long time, doing these types of simple writing exercises regularly can drastically improve your quality of life.

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5 things I wish people knew about me as a highly sensitive empath & introvert

Being highly sensitive means being misunderstood quite a lot.

Having a particularly sensitive nervous system means that you process everything – and I mean everything: thoughts, feelings, temperature, sensations, smells – more deeply.

Your experience of the world is different and your sensitivity can feel like an annoyance or burden to other people.

I know that my sensitivity has created many misunderstandings, especially with family members who insist that my sensitivity is just “all in my head”. 

While not everyone who’s sensitive is the same, we do share many experiences – and it can be very stressful when the people we care about don’t “get” us.

This one is for you curling up on the couch with the cat and a book on a Saturday night.

For you pep-talking yourself in the supermarket car park to just go in and get it over with already.

For when you’re wondering why you’re the “only one” who wants to stay home this (and every other) weekend.

If you’re struggling to be like everybody else – I know exactly what you’re talking about because I did that too!

Here’s what I wish other people knew about me as an empath, introvert and highly sensitive person.

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Never feel overwhelmed or overstimulated again with these 4 simple tips

When you want to make people happy, you have a hard time saying no.

But learning when to say no is one of those life lessons you just gotta learn if you ever want to learn how to live with your sensitivity.

Saying no doesn’t mean refusing to socialise, tho. It’s more about learning what you can deal with and when you have the capacity to do so.

And learning to take care of yourself when you do know that there’s something you’ll want to participate in.

Being an easily overwhelmed type of person doesn’t mean locking yourself away in your house. It just means managing your energy so that you can be social and still feel happy about it.

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If you’re highly sensitive and feel worn out by your job these tips can help you feel better

When I worked full-time, there were days I left work feeling like an 18-wheeler had done a 5-point-turn on over me.

I felt totally drained and exhausted. I came home and wouldn’t have the energy to do a single thing. Still, dinner needed to be cooked and lunch made ready for the next day, the apartment needed cleaning, the cat needed feeding and the litter box cleaning.

Overwhelmed by others’ energy I had very little patience left to consciously offer anything to anyone else. I was completely spent, and that was just by Monday evening.

At work, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom stall, tears silently falling, my shoulders shaking from sobbing, without a clue of what just happened or why I was feeling so lost.

I would come to work perfectly happy and within minutes of entering the building, I’d turn moody and withdrawn. As the day went on, I got angry and then depressed. My emotions flickered like someone was playing with my emotional light switch.

To add insult to injury, without being aware of what was going on, I would regularly create a mental story to explain away all the emotions I was feeling.

I would bring up negative self-talk, old baggage, stories, fights, or even think about what negativity the future would bring.

As an empath, I feel everything deeply. Emotional, physical and mental perceptions affect me strongly. Just going on social media can change my mood in a moment.

Before I was aware of being an empath, I not only felt what others did, but also took on their emotional, physical and mental ailments as my own.

Learning how to manage my own energy and draw healthy boundaries has changed my work from a parade of misery to a much more joyful experience.

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Have you been told you need to grow thicker skin? Maybe you’re an empath!

Shine like the whole universe is yours

Empaths are emotional sponges who absorb both the stress and the joy from the world around them.

To really thrive as an empath (not just survive), I think it’s critical to learn how to not take on the energy, stress and moods of other people.

To an empath, the world can often seem coarse, heartless and disdainful of sensitivity. I know I’ve been told time and again that I need to be less sensitive if I want to succeed in life.

But I say that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive. Being sensitive to the world around you isn’t a weakness that needs to be stamped out.

I think empathy is the very thing about you that is most right in the world. Rather than “growing thicker skin”, I believe it’s more important for you to learn skills to help you cope with a highly sensitive nervous system.

When you learn to understand your specific needs as an empath, you’ll be able to truly connect with yourself (and others), be your authentic self and shine as an empath.

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Feeling lonely? Use this simple technique to make it go away

How to stop feeling lonely

Loneliness makes you feel empty, alone and unwanted. You crave human contact while feeling that it’s difficult to form connections with other people. And even if you like to spend time by yourself, in your own company, deep down you know that humans don’t do well if they’re completely alone.

We’re social creatures and have evolved to rely on a community, however small, to survive and thrive. And so, the absence of social connection triggers the same, primal alarm bells as hunger, thirst and physical pain do.

The longer you live with your loneliness, the worse it gets. Because we tend to think that there’s something wrong with us for being lonely in the first place. The more alone you feel, the more you start to think that you don’t belong or fit in anywhere. You start to feel utterly rejected and if you’re left alone with your thoughts, they’ll become your worst enemy.

Because isolation is the perfect breeding ground for negative and self-critical thoughts. The negative thought patterns you get stuck in are what make up your critical inner voice, an internalised enemy that leads to self-destructive thought processes and behaviours.

And it’s this inner critic that feeds into your feelings of isolation and encourages you to avoid other people, pushing you to remain in a state of loneliness. Even when you’re surrounded by people, you can still end up feeling alone and isolated. And even when often you choose to enjoy your own company in solitude (which is healthy and good for you), you can still feel a crippling sense of loneliness.

Learning how to deal with your feeling of loneliness is critical for your mental health – your inner critic is doing you no favours and only wants you to get swept away in shame, isolation and sorrow. When you’re really hurting, background noise and having loving pets can help, but don’t make you handle the feeling itself any better.

Use this one simple technique I describe in the article to master your feeling of loneliness and take back control of your mental health in those fragile moments with compassion and self-love.

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