So, how’d it go?
Were you able to find forgiveness for others and lighten your burden?
Today, I want to tell you about one little thing that can absolutely change your thoughts about money and your finances.
I think forgiveness is one of the most powerful and transformational personal development tools that you can ever, ever use in your life.
And maybe you’ve already done lots of forgiveness.
Maybe you’ve forgiven your parents, your friends, your enemies, your partner, your teachers – maybe you’ve forgiven a lot of people.
But there’s one person left to forgive. You!
And that’s the one that’s gonna make all the difference.
Because self-forgiveness will release you from the guilt of past mistakes (or perceived past mistakes) that you’ve made with your finances and allow you to move on, free from that burden.
So, what kind of things should you forgive yourself for?
One powerful thing to do is to forgive yourself for any debt you have or have had.
Debt is something that brings up a lot of shame in women.
But honestly, it wastes so much of your mental energy to blame yourself for being in debt – and it’s not helping you one iota to pay that sucker off.
Begin by writing what got you into debt in the first place:
- What did you loan money for?
- Did you spend the borrowed money wisely or did you end up taking more debt?
- Did someone else participate in going into debt with you?
- Was there a co-signer?
- How did taking that debt impact your life (in good and bad ways)?
You might have spent lots of money on your wedding, or on starting a business that didn’t go anywhere, on online courses that you maybe didn’t really need or maybe you’re still paying off your last holiday on your credit card.
Write it all down. Get it all out.
Releasing the blame around your debt is incredibly powerful (even if you’re forgiving yourself for past debt you’ve had but have since paid off).
When you release the blame and shame you have around your debt, you’ll notice that you’ll gain some real clarity around how you can make more money and pay if off quicker.
Once you’ve forgiven yourself for your debts, it’s time to move on to your past financial mistakes.
Maybe you’ve made bad investments in the past, maybe you trusted people about or with money that you shouldn’t have and now you’re feeling like a doofus about it.
Maybe you bought something really expensive only to find out you don’t really like it.
But you paid for it, so you’re stuck with it. And hey, shit happens.
You buy something that you thought would be really cool and that would give you a lot of pleasure – and then it doesn’t.
Those beautiful shoes that were going to be the crowning glory of your summers but they scrape your feet bloody and raw, so now they just sit in the closet.
Or the expensive handbag you wanted so badly, but then you bought it and are afraid to take it out for a spin.
Or the car that was supposed to be an upgrade but turns out is only marginally better than your last car.
Make a list of every money-related mistake you feel you’ve ever made.
It could be from work or old jobs.
Maybe you haven’t forgiven yourself for negotiating your salary poorly, for not standing up for yourself when you were told you’re not getting a raise, or for doing work for free when you should have gotten paid.
Once you have your list, go over it and look for patterns: Did you make the same mistake twice but in different situations? What lessons have you learned from these experiences? Are these experiences you don’t want to repeat anymore? How would you handle those situations if they arose now? Forgive yourself for it all. And just let it go.
Say: “[Your name], I forgive you for…”
And again, saying it out loud works better than doing the easy version and just thinking it.
The point of this exercise is to give yourself permission to change, to grow and to learn from those mistakes (remember we talked about rising to the moment on day six).
Give yourself permission to start again.
And trust yourself to make better financial decisions in the future.
Whether you’re releasing guilt for debt, a past expenditure that didn’t work out or a big financial fuck-up that you still think about sometimes at 3 am – releasing it is going to create so much freedom.
You’re freeing up a lot of creative energy and space for you to come up with ideas to make more money.
Trust me on this.
I’m gonna end today with an exercise that I want you to start doing every day.
This is an exercise that you can do anywhere you can sit quietly for a moment, before bed or at the same time (or instead of) a meditative practice is great.
With your eyes closed, start at the top of your head and mentally “scan” down your body.
Bring your awareness to each part of your body in turn – head, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, neck, shoulders, chest, arms, stomach and so on.
I want you to notice how each part feels; relaxed or tense, comfortable or uncomfortable, hot or cold, energised or tired?
And as you go through your body, I want you to tell each part of your body three things: thank you, I forgive you, I’m sorry.
For example: “Thank you eyes for letting me see where I’m going and all the colours in the world. I forgive you for not being as sharp as you used to and for making me wear reading glasses now. I’m sorry that I haven’t appreciated you as much as I should have.”
Or, “Thank you tummy for keeping my baby safe for so long, for stretching to accommodate all of my organs as well as my baby. I forgive you for not having bounced back to pre-pregnancy size because creating a human was quite a feat. And I’m sorry that I get angry at you for not fitting into my old jeans, you have every right to be in clothes that respect the work you did by fitting you instead.”
You can go through your body parts systematically.
Or go through them until you find a place in your body where you feel some tension or resistance.
As you do this exercise, breathe and release the judgement that you’ve been carrying for yourself.
And doing it is absolutely going to change your life and free up creative energy.
Just give yourself permission to be okay as you are.
I completely forgive you and hope that you can extend the gift of forgiveness to yourself as well.
Make a list of your money mistakes and forgive yourself for them. Start doing the forgiveness exercise I described above until you start feeling all that old ballast releasing.