For a type of person that’s typically REALLY into self-development and getting organised about life, it’s kind of ironic that most empaths aren’t wealthy.
We love writing down goals and journaling about where we want to go in life (we’ve done this so many damned times). We use sticky notes, program reminders and support systems to help us with goals. We buy books, hire coaches, and surround ourselves with like-minded people.
Yet we still struggle.
At work. In business. With finances. With fitness. Just generally with achieving goals.
Falling short – even with everything that we do – often leads us to think that there’s something wrong with us, that we don’t deserve success, wealth, happiness, healthy relationships etc.
Clearly, we think we’re broken.
But a lifetime of being told to be different than you are will do that to you. And the failed relationships, tanked businesses, empty and overdrawn bank accounts, and extra weight you just can’t get rid of just serve as proof that you aren’t meant for this world.
You resign yourself to suffer through the external world whenever you must. You grit your teeth and let the emotional overwhelm wash over you, and self-medicate with junk food or wine.
Or go to the doctor and get misdiagnosed with social anxiety – not at all the same thing as being an empath – and become reliant on medication to get through life.
You go about your work as a helper and healer, thinking that if you can help others you can somehow fix yourself. But all you’re doing is sacrificing yourself for the benefit of others, and then you go right back to seek comfort and pleasure in things that are a detriment to your mental well-being and health.
And every day a fervent wish to retreat from the world burns hotter inside you.
You dream of living in the fantasy worlds of books and movies, the safety of your own house, and not have to deal with life and other people – which is messy and complicated. Ideally, spending your days philosophizing, processing energy and figuring out the meaning of all the feelings.
Never to look at an unpaid bill again. Or experience that dread you feel when you stare at your empty bank account. Or think about paying off your debt.
But you deserve better.
Though normal methods don’t work for you. Being a visionary and feel-good-seeker actually makes you resistant to the usual formulas for success.
So, why do you self-sabotage?
You’re smart. Heck, you know you’re smart! You know you have shit to do and still you put it off until you’re under some real pressure.
It’s like you’re out at sea in a lifeboat with a hole in the bottom. Instead of tackling the issue head-on and fixing it, you lie back to soak up the sunshine and admire the beautiful day, seagulls on the wing in a blue sky, the waves gently lapping at your little boat…
But your boat’s still sinking! So you freak the fuck out! At the last minute you start bailing like mad! Because the sharks are circling your little boat!
And you wonder how you got here.
Sound familiar? Uh-huh. Here’s the thing: I know you’d like to stay in hiding, but you need to come out now. And I know what I’m talking about because I used to hide too. I was sick, broke and lonely. I used to 10/10 prefer to just live in the fantasy worlds of books and movies, where I could be any kind of badass bitch I wanted to be.
But when I looked at myself in the real world, I felt powerless and lost. I was disappointed and frustrated and I didn’t have anyone to help me, no one understood my experience, and no one had any better advice to give me than to “buck up”, “stop being so sensitive” and “just get out there and make some friends, you can’t spend your life alone”.
The biggest challenge, as an empath, is to get your external world to be an extension of your internal one.
There is absolutely no reason why these two shouldn’t be perfectly aligned. And if you apply the amount of effort on your external world as you do on your internal world, you will see that you can enjoy wealth and abundance in both.
And you won’t have to spend years seeking and searching while being bogged down by your fears, your fantasies, and your financial situation. If you escape more than you express yourself, and if you hide in your blanket cave rather than find your flow, you’re not alone.
For me, it was a never ending ‘maybe’ when it needed to be a decisive ‘I must’.
And when the burden of ‘being me’ got too heavy, I set it down. When I took a step back from it and really looked, I didn’t recognise myself anymore. No wonder it was so heavy!
I gave up trying to be someone I thought I should be. I stopped trying to please other people. I ceased pandering to ‘being proper’. I gave up trying to manage the self-sabotage, stopped trying to manage the daily struggle.
I stopped thinking about what I wasn’t or what I didn’t have.
And focused on what I could be grateful for. I started cleaning out self-destructive habits that were masquerading as self-care and started genuinely taking care of myself. I began healing my soul wounds and broke free of the patterns that kept me sick, broke and lonely.
Am I suggesting you do what I did? Hell no!
It took me years of being alone to get over being lonely and realise that I have a gift. I went through tumultuous relationship after another, tried several different types of education and work before even having a smidgeon of understanding of myself and what I wanted in life.
Please don’t do what I did because those were some long-ass decades to get where I am today. So, let me make it a thousand times easier for you! And even if you’re already several years into your own long and winding journey, consider this a shortcut from this point forward.
“Do not be embarrassed by your failures. Learn from them and start again.”— Sir Richard Branson
You need a different formula for success
You need something that takes into consideration your sensitivities, your gifts and your tendencies. Something that goes deep (because we all know you love that!), happens rapidly, and creates permanent change.
You need permission to be yourself knowing that you’re not like everyone else.
And a clear and easy-to-follow path that aligns with your unique purpose and doesn’t overwhelm you or freak you out.
And above all, it needs to help you get clear on what your purpose in this life is. Just this alone can change your whole outlook on life.
You need a process that makes a feeling of coming home well up inside you.
5 money mindset shifts you need to make today
Choose right now to turn your so-so life into a deeply satisfying one.
Choose right now to deal with your debt – don’t worry about how, just decide to get it done.
Make the choice to make your next meal healthy and satisfying.
Choose to do something you absolutely love before the day is done.
Choose to change one little thing every day until you’ve changed them all.
Start now and see what happens.
As an empath, you’re gifted with the ability to feel things more intensely. The shadow side of that, is that you opt to live in your inner world and ignore the needs of your body, your home, your relationships and your bank account. You struggle to belong, and you feel like no matter what you do, you end up lonely, broke and sick.
But you have magic inside you.
So, stop making yourself small and playing it safe. I want you to get up and shine. I want you to step up and claim the abundant life that is just there waiting for you to be you.
#1: “I have to be everything to everyone”
No, you don’t. Just because other people are struggling doesn’t mean you need to run to their aid. Just because other people need things doesn’t mean you have to provide it.
You’d be surprised at how good people are at providing for themselves and solving their own problems (and asking for help when and where they need it) when you just let them get on with it.
Let go of the mindset that you need to fix everything. Focus your energy on yourself instead. What do you want to do? What do you want more of in your life? Go work on that instead! And make it a point to be there for others when they ask for your help, not before.
#2: “I have to be perfect in order to be successful“
Everybody starts somewhere. Usually in a place where they know nothing and are shit at everything – until they put in the time and effort to get better at it.
If you feel like everything has to be just so before you can even start, you’re never gonna get there. You start by being imperfect and you continue by being imperfect.
#3: “I have to work really hard to make money“
You don’t have to be exhausted, frazzled, and miserable in order to “earn” (be worthy of) your money. You really don’t.
Whenever you find yourself overthinking things and making them 10x more complicated than they need to be, just stop. Breathe.
- Are you saying no to fun things, like time with friends or family?
- Are you burning the candle at both ends?
- Are you getting enough good-quality sleep that leaves you feeling rested and energetic?
- Do you feel inspired and excited about work? Or do you hate Mondays more than anything?
- Are you still learning and applying a learning mindset to your everyday?
- Are you having fun?
It’s not about working harder, but smarter. And adding more value – which you can’t do if you stop learning. So, remember to have fun with whatever you’re doing and just throw yourself into it wholeheartedly. Life is really fun when you let it be!
#4: “Everybody will think I’m a fraud“
Ah, impostor syndrome – the idea that you’ve only succeeded due to luck, and not because of your skills or qualifications. We all suffer from this, so you’re not alone in this, and you’ll never completely eradicate this.
But you can get better at dealing with it when it shows up! The goal is to have impostor moments, rather than an impostor life. So, when you feel like you’re having a moment, ask yourself “Is this thought hindering me or helping me?”
If it’s not helpful, boot it! And if it’s helpful, explain to yourself how and why it’s helping you get closer to your goal. And if you’re struggling to deal with it yourself, talk to someone who can give you a loving pep-talk.
#5: “I can’t make the kind of money I really want to”
What’s really standing in your way? To get to grips with the kind of money blocks you’ve got, I recommend answering these questions.
Whenever you feel like you can’t get to the kind of money you truly want to make, there’s something standing in the way. You need to work out if it’s a real-world issue that you need to set your problem-solving skills to, or is it a mental block that you need to clear out in order to level up your income.
Getting to grips with your money blocks – what are they anyway?
A money block is anything that’s holding you back from making the money you really want. It’s usually an underlying belief or fear about yourself in relation to money.
You may or may not be aware of them – but, trust me, they’re there. Most often it’ll be a story that you’re telling yourself unconsciously.
And it turns up to sabotage you in sneaky ways.
Most empaths don’t think they have money blocks. Instead, they just tell themselves that they aren’t meant to be rich or aren’t good enough at what they.
But it’s easy to think that you don’t make money because of external things. It’s harder to claim your responsibility in it all.
Don’t get me wrong, there totally are external factors that affect what you earn now.
But believing that you can’t do ANYTHING about it and start earning more is absolutely not true. But!, you say, the economy is bad, people don’t have money, they’re not approving any raises, I can’t just ask for a raise, Mercury is in retrograde…
It’s nice to have an excuse to not take responsibility for yourself, isn’t it?
You may be thinking that your situation is unique. It’s usually not. We tend to have pretty similar money blocks. See if any of these ring a bell:
- Rich people are greedy and selfish. Who says you have to be like everyone else? Wouldn’t you love to be able to write a big, fat check to your favourite charity?
- It’s more important to be happy than to be rich. Ever tried paying the rent with a jar of happiness? Or buying a new car with hugs and good vibes when the old one broke down? Yeah, didn’t think so.
- Making money has to be hard. It doesn’t have to be hard, but it will take work. But that work can be fun and enjoyable so that it feels less heavy!
- I don’t come from a rich family, so I can’t be rich. Your past experiences don’t define your future success. You can totally make more money than anyone in your family ever has before.
- People will stop loving me if I have too much money. Some people might. But the right people will be happy for you and see your success as their success.
- It’s obscene to make heaps of money when other people don’t have enough. There will be people with more money in the world regardless, so it might as well be you! And why shouldn’t you have more money? You’re going to do great things with it and make the world a better place!
There’s always something you can do, so long as you decide to step up and take responsibility for yourself. Because when you take 100% responsibility for you, the things you have no power over just become an afterthought.
And believe me when I say, that the day you decide to make that change, it’s your lucky day! 💫
When you want to do the deep inner work to increase your earning potential and break through your income plateau, sign up for The Money Mindset Workshop.
It’s a 25-day program with real talk about money that includes daily exercises and journaling prompts that will help you completely transform how you think and feel, not just about money, but about how you measure your own worth.
I designed this workshop for women who’re ready to do the deep inner work that’s required for you to be able to fully step into your economic power and create a life for yourself that’s in alignment with your personal values and aspirations.